Monday, December 17, 2012

Romance Is More Than Eating Shawarma And Ice Cream

Photo: Magdalina Masha, Nigerian actress and model and member of Screen Naija One Village, One Cinema Project.

She knows she is pretty and sexy and even in rags she still makes heads to turn in her direction whenever she passes by, especially the guys ogling at her. And in Nigeria, when it comes to dating and mating, it is difficult to separate the boys from the men, because Nigerian men suddenly turn to boys at the first sight of a pretty girl on the street, on and off campus. You see men old enough to be grandfathers competing with male students who could pass for their sons for girls who could pass for their daughters or even grand-daughters. But she knows how to keep the dogs at bay, both the puppies and bulldogs in heat.

Have you read ロマンスの香り Scent of Romance, the Romance no Kaori Manga by Fujisaki Kou?
What matters most in every love affair are just two basic things; happiness and security. No more, no less.
If you are not happy and secure, then you are wasting your time and of course, wasting your precious time is wasting your life, because life is based on Time. And in time, every second counts. So, how you spend it determines how you will end it. Garbage in, garbage out.
What is the use of spending time with someone who will only make you miserable?
What is the use of being with a guy who is insecure and feels nervous whenever he sees you in the company of men?
Or the guy who thinks a particular dress makes you too sexy to be seen on the street?
But lest we forget, it was that kind of dress that made him break Usain Bolt's 100 meters world record chasing you from Oduduwa Hall to Moremi Hall last summer. But now that you are his "girlfriend", he is whining about how you are dressing in a sexually provocative and sensitive style. So, he now thinks he can dictate to you?
When his heart skips a beat whenever you tell him to take you to Collectibles to get just a pair of Levi's Skinny Jeans? And taking you to the cinemas is special once in a blue moon trip?
And for every favour he expects you to play the raunchiest sex roles for him in bed?
These dogs who think Nigerian girls are bitches in heat 24/7.
She really knows how to keep such dogs at bay.
Thank God she is doing decent job and can afford to go shopping and pay for the hottest trendy clothes in vogue and no guy can dictate to her.
Why should a guy want you to be what he wants and he is not ready to be what you want?
Pleeesss, give me a break.
Will the real Nigerian men please stand up?
Let us separate the small boys from the big boys and let us also separate the she-men from the he-men.
We need real men who are mature and secure enough not to start frowning or gasping when you tell them that another guy is escorting you to The Palms in Lekki.
The small boys think just escorting a babe to the mall is already dating?
Or buying you chicken shawarma and ice cream now makes you his girlfriend?

She knows her onions, so no guy can play her like dice.
If he thinks you are not good enough to be his fiancée, then don't be his girlfriend.PERIOD.
Yes, the small boys who think there are girls who are only good enough for forking, but not good enough for wedding.
She laughed out aloud as she stumbled upon his text message to a buddy as she went through his BB.
So, I should be dancing on the moon, because he says I am a wife material, but he is still messing around with other girls he labels "only good for forking and not for wedding"?
The guy who insults other girls will later insult you one day.
You wanna bet?
Watch how he talks about other girls and that will show you what he thinks of women.
If he does not respect other Nigerian girls, he does not respect you.
Stop all that bullshit of you are different and better, brighter and wiser or holier than other girls attitude.
What makes you holier than the other girls?
You don't fork as many times as they do?
So, that makes you the Virgin Mary, Mother of our Messiah Jesus Christ or a revered sister?
If a man thinks he can take turns on other girls, then he should not be surprised to find out that other guys have also taken their turns on his own girlfriend or fiancée.

You cannot mess up another man's future wife and then expect your own to be safe from being messed up too.
"What goes around comes around" is a common cliché, but it is true.
Like the small boys who are looking for virgins, but not a single one of them is a virgin himself!
Men can really be funny.
After messing up girls from secondary school to the university, you then still want to marry a decent girl or virgin?
If want to marry a virgin, then stop "disvirgining" the virgins you will later want to marry.
It is commonsense.
The romantic appreciation of beautiful and wonderful Nigerian women is not by sleeping with them one after the other, but respecting them so that they will remain decent Nigerian ladies who in spite of their daily temptations and trials have not lost their dignity, integrity and nobility.

~ By Ekenyerengozi Michael Chima, author of Children of Heaven, Scarlet Tears of London, The Language of True Love, Bye, Bye Mugabe, In the House of Dogs, Diary of the Memory Keeper, The Prophet Lied and other books.

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