My dear, just being a beautiful woman is not enough for your success in any relationship in life.
In fact, the most important thing is not your beauty, but to be BOLD and FEARLESS! Because, if you are just beautiful and not bold, men, even boys can still bully you to submit to them and use you just to boost their egos and for their silly bragging rights. And such spineless beautiful girls and women are the targets of most boys and men, especially black guys who have little or no respect for girls and women and only see them as sex objects for their selfish pleasures.
That is why many girls and women are the victims of domestic violence and rape.
These bullies who are actually immature and insecure themselves, because they are not well bred prefer immature and insecure girls and women to use to prove their manhood. But they are afraid and scared of BEAUTIFUL and BOLD girls and women. Please, note that being bold does not mean you have to be RUDE. In fact, if you are bold, you will not be rude, but polite and yet powerful. When you are bold, you respect yourself and you will respect others. Girls and women who are beautiful and bold are the most mature, secure and successful in life. You will see the same boys and men who bully other girls and women being humbled by such beautiful and bold girls and women in their community and society. Even the area boys in Lagos respect them and don't dare to molest them. In fact, they prefer to protect them.
Being trashy does not make any girl or woman beautiful and bold. Being trashy only makes a girl or woman look desperate, immature and insecure and the target of irresponsible boys and men who disrespect her, because she has already disrespected herself. If you respect yourself, they will respect you.
Therefore, don't let anyone intimidate and undervalue you. Don't sell yourself cheap like a street prostitute. Most of the female targets and victims of domestic violence and rape have been cowards, because they are not brave.
Many girls and women live in fear of men. They are jittery and tremble when a boy or a man even shouts at them. Any boy or man who barks at a girl or woman is a dog. Don't be afraid of such dogs, but beware of them.
Don't let them bite you. Just avoid such dogs. Don't bark back at dogs, except you are also a dog.
Please, my dear, why should a boy or man frighten you?
Who is he? Is he your God?
Please, read about the beautiful and brave girls and women in the Holy Bible who were bold and fearless champions of Israel or the Amazons of Africa, Europe and the Americas. Beautiful and bold girls and women who did not let any man to bully them anywhere.
They stood their ground and proved themselves worthy of their womanhood like Queen Esther and Judge Deborah in the Holy Bible or like Queen Amina and Madam Tinubu of Nigeria.
Men did not make them jittery. Is woman not the mother of man? Which man on earth did not come through the loins of a woman? Oh, God! Help our girls and women to realize the awesome power you have given them to humble men and even kings like Queen Esther did.
C'mon! my dear! Wake up! Look in the mirror and talk to yourself! Please, talk to yourself and then talk to your fellow girls and women to be brave and fearless from the closet to the street. From the bedroom to the boardroom. Don't let any guy trample and walk over you! Raise your head high and walk tall, even if you are short! Don't let any guy look down on you.
Stand upright and walk tall with dignity, integrity and nobility. Even if you are poor, don't let poverty devalue you! The most powerful sex organ is not your vagina, but your brains. Beauty without brains is useless!
THINK! Girls and women who think don't end up in the sink of the world! So, please, THINK! Be REASONABLE and be RESPONSIBLE!
Don't be a coward and don't be a fool! When a girl or woman is brave, she will humble any boy or man; even with her words to tame the most brutish of guys.
You need to be beautiful, brilliant, intelligent and smart to be a complete bold girl or woman. But when you are always eager to please boys and men, you are not bold. You are just immature and insecure, and you need boys and men to validate your insecure personality. A beautiful and bold girl or woman does not need any man to prove that she is a worthy person. Her dignity and integrity are enough to prove her worthiness anywhere. And she does not have foolish pride to impress or prove herself to men.
She will respect herself and also respect others indoors and outdoors and attract the goodwill and respect of others. No boy or man will even point a finger of threat at her. No guy will cross her path in confrontation or molestation. Her good and polite manners will open doors for her and she will earn her respect wherever she goes.
~ By Ekenyerengozi Michael Chima, Author of The Language of True Love, Diary of the Memory Keeper, In the House of Dogs, The Prophet Lied and other books.