So she is Arrogant, Because She Refused to Date You?
This ambiguous and erroneous notion is common among majority of Nigerian guys, both the bachelors and married men.
Whenever they approach a babe for relationship and she bluffs or rebuffs them, they conclude that she is arrogant.
Of course it is stupid to just conclude that a babe is arrogant, because she does not want to go out with you.
Let her be.
She has the right to accept or reject your advances. Hello! That does not mean she is arrogant, uptight or she hates you. Respect her decision and don’t get twisted over it.
The fact is, she may even agree to go out with you later when she has taken her time to make up her mind on you.
As I always insist LOVE IS NOT BY FORCE. Anytime you force anyone into a relationship, you are most likely going to end up with apologies and regrets later in life.
I have seen it and even getting the girl pregnant did not help the guy, because she eventually left him for even an older guy down the street.
There are girls and there are girls.
Many of the Nigerian girls may be ruled by herd mentality or peer pressure, but there are some girls who are different and have principles. Not those who are flip-flopping every now and then depending on their mood swings or peer group.
There is a girl or lady who is different from the one every Dick, Tom and Harry thinks he can take advantage of and lay just for his bragging rights among his peers at the club, office or on campus and moves on to another target of his conquest.
When Nigerian guys find a girl very friendly and welcomes their advances, she is nice, but if she keeps them at arm’s length, they will hiss and call her arrogant or uptight. But in most cases, they are ignorant and wrong.
All girls and ladies are not the same and some of them don’t go out with any guy simply for the fun of it or the selfish benefits. They have principles and they won’t compromise them to impress or please you and your romantic fancies or erotic fantasies.
There is a tall, beautiful and brilliant young woman who is only 19 and in her first year at the premier university in Lagos. She makes heads turn whenever she passes by, but most of the guys in her community have not been bold enough to ask her out, because of being bluffed or rebuffed. Most of them are older than her by five to ten years and have already graduated from the university and polytechnics, but from a distance they call her arrogant.
“She is so full of herself.”
“She thinks she is something special.”
They will regard her and hiss.
Then they start plotting how to set her up by organizing parties and see how they can use their own girlfriends who are close to her to lure her to come to their parties where they believe they will have the opportunity to ask her for a dance and some of the bad guys plot to spike her drink and get her drunk so that they can rape her. But the smart girl who has been well bred and warned by her parents and guardians to beware of such shenanigans and other Smart Alec romantic maneuvers of these desperate guys in town knows how to also outsmart them even with friendly smiles and excuses.
“Oh, sorry, I forgot. There will always be more occasions to celebrate.”
But unknown to them she knows what she wants and has taken her decisions. She does not want to date anyone in her neighbourhood or on campus. The best they can do is just to respect her decision and not being stupid.
Moreover, principled girls and ladies have defined ambitions and targets and if any guy does not match their set goals, they will not welcome his advances even if both of them graduated from the same academic or professional class.
It is important for Nigerian guys to understand that not all Nigerian girls and ladies are pawns for their ego-tripping power plays. And these special breed of Nigerian female folk are entitled to their chosen principles of life. Comprehendo?
~ By Orikinla Osinachi, October 4, 2012.